Put down that 50 Shades of Grey – it’s time to get real. Time to get naughty. Time to get naked.
Sex swaps are alive and well here in the Hollywood Hills, I’m proud to report. No, it’s not 1970 calling, and we’re not in a Jackie Collins novel…we’re scheduling. With the neighbors. And here’s how you too can sneak sex into your working mom life.
1.) Find a neighbor who also has a kid. It’s best if you find your mirror family. You got one kid, they got one kid, you got two, they got two. You get the idea….
2.) Encourage your kids to become friends, let’s say best friends, with your neighbor’s kids (this means your kid will want to play at the neighbors house thus momentarily gifting you 30 minutes of kid free adult time —bearing any calls of needed trip to E.R.)
3.) Put down the vacuum. As my neighbor said to me “I’m giving you 30 minutes with your husband. No cleaning allowed.” I sprinted to my husband to tell him of the good news and neighbors “no cleaning, nudity required condition”.
This arrangement can go on for as long as your kids stay friends (encourage always) and each “swap” is always equal. We would like to say we’re swapping on a daily basis, but let’s get real. We are working parents. We consider ourselves heroes if we swap monthly.
Who needs Grey? I just laid it out for you in Black and White.